Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Going back to "real life"...

I had a great day today. I have an awesome group of kids this week for five days, which is a great way to end the season. They "Got Yoked" this morning, ate like whales this afternoon, and had an amazing Ultimate Double Dare Squid session this evening. I feel good about the way today went. I like days like this.

So I've been thinking more and more about the move back to Michigan. (Only 10 more days!)I'm excited, don't get me wrong, but I will miss living STEPS from the beach and I'm nervous about going back to "real life". Living here on the island is nowhere NEAR "real life". I'm moving back to Michigan to run a dance studio and move in with my boyfriend...which are all big committments and huge responsibilities. I'm ready, of course, but change always throws me off at first. I always need an adjustment period.

Surprisingly enough, I'm MORE concerned about moving in with Jerry than running the dance studio. I KNOW I can run the dance studio...my life has been leading up to this since I was 2 years old. I will be in control and am solely responsible for the success of the business. HOWEVER, in relationships, there is no guarantee. I'm in no way in control of Jerry's feelings or actions. It also takes two to have a relationship, which means we BOTH are responsible for its success. I'm not used to depending on others, I'm not used to committment, and I'm certainly not used to living with my boyfriend permanently. Sure, it may be awhile before we actually move in together, but even moving back and being in a "normal" relationship is something that we've never had. I've been out of the country for a month of our relationship and all the way across the U.S. for three and a half months of our relationship. We've only been dating for about five months...do the math. It's exciting, nerve wracking, intimidating, and refreshing, all at the same time. I don't know WHAT to feel, really.

Inundating myself with Blind Melon is all I can think to do right now. I want to spin in circles until I puke and curl up with the stars.

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